Ok, this post is a little all over the place, so bear with me… We’ve been back and forth to Ottawa for my cousin’s wedding and some much-appreciated family time, and with that comes all the requisite kid-crashed-in-all-sorts-of-places photos. What with that trip, a brief overnight trip to Victoria, and Bean finally learning how to escape her crib, we’ve had a lot of bed-sharing in the past couple of weeks. It’s not my favourite thing to do, mostly because I don’t sleep well, but sometimes it’s better to sleep poorly than not at all? The trip to Victoria was mostly to have a reunion night with the amazing couple who did our pre-engagement and marriage counseling, and check in about this season with two littles and an intense schedule. It was so good, even just to hear things like “you’re in a difficult season, it is hard, but it will change one day.” Of course there was lots more, too. We’re big fans of Andy and Katie, and just from our own experience we’re big fans of seeking regular counsel and mentorship. We recognize that we haven’t done this before, so it’s good to hear from people who have. The next day I surprised Christopher with a little birthday brunch with family and close friends. He used the tripod I gave him to take those photos of the flowing water at the Chase River below our house. Way cool, right?
Meanwhile, I’m in a season where I have too many dreams and schemes at home, and not enough time to do them in. Our garden has just barely stopped looking like a junkyard, after some frantic after-bedtime planting. My sewing has been living on the kitchen counter since last week. I keep adding areas of the house I want to organize to my list of things to do, without doing any of the previous ones. I know that I’ve taken on too much when I’m trying to iron bias tape with the Bean hanging off of my legs. I’ve been humbled by this great quote from Loving the Little Years – “Fat souls are better than clean floors.” Isn’t that great? Except I would probably replace clean floors with “all the projects,” in my case. So I’m trying to rethink my goals with nourishment for all of our souls at the top of my list. And sometimes creative projects are nourishment for our souls – but not always, and not at the cost of relationships.
Sometimes, even though I know better, there sneaks into my brain a little idea, that after this next trip or after this next project life will slow down, I’ll be a better mother, I’ll have time/will power/wisdom to do the things I want to do, etc… I keep having to relearn the fact that this is life, right now, and there’s no existential corner we have yet to turn between the chaotic, unorganized present and some pretty, carefully arranged future (that takes place in my dream white-painted house with bowls of fresh fruit and flowers everywhere, haha).