life on the road · the Table

Retreating

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It’s been a full week for us. We had lots of sunshine, so I tried to spend a lot of time out in the backyard. Bean is really amping up her mobility, and the mossy yard was a good place for her to move and groove, and fall down a bit, of course. (She can pull herself up very consistently now – it’s getting down that’s the problem.)

This past weekend was the Table Women’s Retreat, and the Bean came along with me so that Christopher could pack up our suite and clean it without little exploring hands undoing all his work. (Well, she also came with me because I am still nursing her frequently, and no way did I want to pump that much milk for an entire weekend away!) I loved this year’s retreat. Each year has been better than the last, really, and this time I think the organizers really hit a good balance between social time, alone time, worship, and study time. I was also less involved with planning this year, which gave me permission to engage a lot more, without thinking about the next activity on the schedule.

We came home from the retreat on Sunday afternoon, unpacked the car, repacked it with our gear for the next month, and turned around within an hour and a half to drive up to Duncan! Christopher has one more rotation here for the month of April.

If there’s a downside to all the moving around I’ve done in my life, it’s that I tend to compartmentalize all the emotions to do with leave-taking. I was reminded during the weekend that I was going to be leaving the company of all these wonderful women, several of them very close friends, and that this was sort of my last hurrah with them – but it never really hit my gut, I never felt much emotion attached to leaving. Part of me feels that I should be more broken up, and wonders if I really care, and whispers guiltily inside. But I know it will come later, when I am already far away and it’s harder to reach out to those friends with the “I miss you’s” and the tears.

It’s hard to feel this pressing need for closure, too, when we’re only moving to Nanaimo, and we’ll be back in Victoria multiple times in the next few months for various commitments. A slow roll transition, allowing time, I hope, for me to work out what I feel and say what I want to all the people I love.

 

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